Random verses II

For those of you who follow my blog like a leopard, Random Verses will give you the introduction you seek.

A day before this Valentine's day, my husband sent me a forward of some smart alek who wrote a mean but a very funny poem on women.

It goes like this:

A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT...
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you're not.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
--Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
Darling, my love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in, to stink this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Now through all the laughter, it riled up the feminist side of me and as I just can't take a man belittling a woman (vodka induced or not), I had to squelch this attitude and came up with a little verse of my own.

From all the brave girls on valentines...to their brave guys.

Welcome to the real world you silly men who assume,
That we women want fancy gifts and you men to swoon,

Who wants to be reminded once every year,
Of what big pricks you men are, it brings us close to tears,

They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away,
But what on earth would keep you monsters at bay,

We would love to gift you men a sports car of your choice,
Just make sure you drive far far away and let us rejoice,

The day we met you, you seemed sensitive and kind,
But now after a closer look, we women must have been blind,

Good looks, great car, a penthouse or lots of money,
I wish you had at least quarter this list, my poor honey!

Alas! We still married you because we thought,
We could make something out of you, a fallen horse trot,

Roses maybe red and violets could be blue,
But don't be so pretentious, all these have got nothing to do with you,

I think all women are great, beautiful and smart,
We don't need any affirmations from you retards,

So on this valentine may all you brave men,
Take a huge rain check and truly thank god that you still have your women!