Roald dahl

For those of you who love to read Roald Dahl like I do must... must get a copy of his Revolting Rhymes.This book has a collection of all those famous fairy tales,we have grown up listening to,set in a verse.Its twisted,salacious and hilarious beyond words!The illustrations are by Quentin blake and they do justice to the poems as they lend an extra touch of gruesomeness to the whole story.

Some might find it a wee bit gory and probably "revolting" :-) but I think what would strike the reader very obviously is the trenchant wit and the smooth flow of the verses.Its definitely worth a chuckle everytime its read.There are several stories like Cinderella,Aladdin and the wonderful lamp,Jack and the beanstalk,Snow white,The three little pigs,Goldilocks etc.

Here is an excerpt from goldilocks and the three bears:

This famous wicked little tale
Should never have been put on sale
It is a mystery to me
Why loving parents cannot see
That this is actually a book
About a brazen little crook..."

"...Now just imagine how you'd feel
If you had cooked a lovely meal,
Delicious porridge, steaming hot,
Fresh coffee in the coffee pot,
With maybe toast and marmalade,
The table beautifully laid,
One place for you and one for dad,
Another for your little lad.
Then dad cries, 'Golly–gosh! Gee whizz!
'Oh cripes! How hot this porridge is!
'Let's take a walk along the street
'Until it's cool enough to eat.
'He adds, 'An early morning stroll
'Is good for people on the whole.
'It makes your appetite improve
'It also helps your bowels move.
'No proper wife would dare to question
Such a sensible suggestion,
Above all not at breakfast–time
When men are seldom at their prime.
No sooner are you down the road
Than Goldilocks, that little toad
That nosey thieving little louse,
Comes sneaking in your empty house...."

"...(Here comes the next catastrophe.)
Most educated people choose
To rid themselves of socks and shoes
Before they clamber into bed.
But Goldie didn't give a shred.
Her filthy shoes were thick with grime,
And mud and mush and slush and slime.
Worse still, upon the heel of one
Was something that a dog had done.
I say once more, what would you think
If all this horrid dirt and stink
Was smeared upon your eiderdown
By this revolting little clown?
(The famous story has no clues
To show the girl removed her shoes.)

Oh, what a tale of crime on crime!
Let's check it for a second time.

Crime One, the prosecution's case:
She breaks and enters someone's place.

Crime Two, the prosecutor notes:
She steals a bowl of porridge oats.

Crime Three: She breaks a precious chair
Belonging to the Baby Bear.

Crime Four: She smears each spotless sheet
With filthy messes from her feet.

A judge would say without a blink,
'Ten years hard labour in the clink!
'But in the book, as you will see,
The little beast gets off scot–free,
While tiny children near and far
Shout 'Goody–good! Hooray! Hurrah!
''Poor darling Goldilocks!' they say,
'Thank goodness that she got away!
'Myself, I think I'd rather send
Young Goldie to a sticky end.
'Oh daddy!' cried the Baby Bear,
'My porridge gone! It isn't fair!
''Then go upstairs,' the Big Bear said,
'Your porridge is upon the bed.
'But as it's inside mademoiselle,
'You'll have to eat her up as well."

Jinny

Jinny was the first pet we had.Amma brought him home one day and when I saw him first,I thought he was a brown and white fur toy...thats when he blinked and our whole lives changed.

My parents were coming out of the hospital one sunday afternoon,when they saw a goat going into labor on the pavement.Everyone was giving her a wide berth to do what she had to do.But suddenly there was a fluffy streak across the road and a pup came gamboling out of nowhere.He was full of energy and tiny yelps.He kept prancing all around the goat much like a tribal warrior would around his spear.

Now,labor pains are almost the same across diverse species and any female going through labor would tell you that she needs her space and if there is any noise to me made,its going to be she making it.The last thing this replete goat needed was a hyperactive,noisy,irritating pup nipping at her ankles,trying to make a game out of it.Jinny I am sure now was being his sweet,affable self but obviously,it didn't go down very well with our lady who had other pressing(literally here)matters at hand.

So,in a flash she butt him really hard.My little hero went flying across the road and landed on the opposite pavement sans goat.My parents were really taken in by all this drama and it was simply love at first sight.As they picked him up a young boy came running up to them and claimed the pup to be his.An hour of serious negotiations ensued,during which time Jinny promoted a cute and adorable image of himself.Finally he came into our lives for Rs.25/-

Maybe later I will write more about my darling Jinny who lived with us for 10 years.He came at a very cheap price considering all the moments of joy,laughter and meaning he gave us which was priceless!!

Towards change....

Life has been very difficult for me for more than a year now simply because I have been seriously stupid and naive.I could blame everyone around me but I know now it is my fault.I have trusted people who aren't worth the T of the word.I have cared for people who don't deserve the affection.At the end of the day when I am still stuck with all the emptiness and void,I wonder why I wasted my days like I did hoping things would change.

This is why I always say,its easier dealing with animals than with any human being.Animals have very simple behavioral pattern.They either like you or they don't and when they don't they make that very clear from the point GO.But with humans there is all that manipulation to deal with,the confusions,the "mixed signals" as one might say.Its such a waste of time I feel.

In the past year I've met people who were severely insensitive to others feelings,who would twist any tale to victimize themselves and act the matyr,who would never agree that they are wrong!Why on earth didn't I see it coming?I wish I saw them for who they were,I wish I didn't keep convincing myself that what was so obvious wasn't the truth.

Life shouldn't be so pyrrichal!I have learnt my lesson now but with the experience I carry all that hurt,the ghosts of my dreams.These will haunt me for a long time to come in hours of silence,in times of solitude.Did I deserve this?YES!I don't know how many of you who chance upon this blog will agree with me on this logic but I believe that each experience shapes us differently than the previous one.We are constantly moulting and with each new form we take,we are ready to face a different world,different kinds of people and situations.If I hadn't been the innocent me,I would never have met these people and gone through so much.But now I have changed.I doubt the new me would have given these people a second glance had I met them for the first time today.

My cousin once told me..."if something hasn't killed you then it has only made you stronger".Thats sounds optimistic!When I do get over all the anger,pain and lonliness I shall soon realise that stronger side in me.

Hmm...

I keep wondering if it's just my father and their entire generation!Maybe from a different angle it could be me and my generation too.I mean no one kills a good joke like my father perhaps.

He starts narrating a supposedly funny incident.We are all glued on.Following him like a leopard one may say in the anticipation of a prey of a punch line.The story proceeds and one detects subtle pauses and irrelevant details,but that's shoved aside as poetic license.We focus on the main point all ready to burst out into giggles and/or guffaws.(We are a diverse lot,my family.)

That's when one notices that the subtle pauses aren't so subtle anymore.They keep getting longer and longer.He seems to want to swallow after every word.'And' getting the biggest gulp amongst the others!Not only that,every few seconds he gets all dreamy like he is actually re-living the whole episode.By this time my mother starts to fret and worry if she has switched off the cylinder in the kitchen,my brother disticntly looks like he has drifted off to la-la land.Moi being the most compassionate and optimistic of the lot,I still try to follow the remains of the once promising joke.Ofcourse that's of no avail because I have been so busy trying to look interested and motivating that I have lost the punch line amidst the gulps,inconsequential data and all that heavy breathing.

Maybe our world moves faster than theirs.We talk faster,we work faster.Speed is such an important part of our lives.I have never seen my father rush anything,even if it costs him his humor.While I would probably answer a question before it is completed,he takes his time mulling over it,editing the answer in his mind many times over even if the answer is a simple yes or no.

To him I always appear to be frenzied, like I have only half a second left to board a plane.He says I am always whizzing across the house that I am just a blur,and it's not even like I have any place important to get to.Strange!For him time is a wonderful companion,to be taken along through a slow sedated walk of life but for me most of the times it is something to be spent in a hurry failing which time seems wasted.

This is our war

A friend of mine once wrote this poem when she was going through a difficult phase of her life.Back then when I read it,it seemed powerful and moving but I could never empathise with it or her.Today when I read it again as I am crossing those same roads I realise how well she's written it and I experience every single emotion behind it.

here goes....

I watched my hopes crumble into
Ashes and dust
Brooded over old spectral joys and unbidden ghosts
Drained the bitter dregs of defeat.

But in the final analysis -
I was equal to the challenge, you weren't;
I tossed my hat in the ring - you played safe,
I lived the truth in each moment of agony and ecstacy
You were impeccably insulated.

I found what I wanted, I chased it;
You were casually insular.
I went the whole nine yards...
With your hand on the doorknob, you died outside.

I risked it unarmed and vulnerable; but you hid, in full armour,
I fought dragons I thought could eat me up
You sat on the couch and watched movies
I inched myself out on cliffsides to bring home my belief,
You sat snug on a chair and ate chocolate mousse.

I flew low over destruction, on perilous wings of hope,
And you buckled into seatbelts, put up safety nets for yourself
I hurled myself into the unknown
You refused to look over the edge.

I laid all my cards on the table
You had an emergency ace up your sleeve...
I was a no-holds-barred daredevil
You were a once-bitten-twice-shy recluse.

I was staring straight into the eye of the storm
whileYou closed your eyes and hoped it would fade away...
I was out in the cold, naked and unbound;
You stayed where you were, sheltered and contained.

I am shattered and vanquished, yet whole
You are triumphant and healthy, yet dead.
What it all comes down to is thatI took the high - you took the low.

The final verdict is carved in stone:
I win - you lose.

Entrez!

So I am thinking that the easy part of blogging is setting up the blog.I mean uptil that point enthusiam surges, creativity flows...but then once that is done,all the right keys tapped, the various coloumns filled,I find I really have nothing much to say as of today..hehe!